By Haley Marie
Word on the Street Issue 48, October 2024
. . .
“You didn’t have it as bad as you thought you did Haley”
Is that why my friends tell me my childhood was definitely not normal?
Is that why I have to completely manipulate my own brain to be a great mom or I’d be just like you! ?
I didn’t have it as bad as I thought I did, said the abuser.
I didn’t have it as bad as I thought I did, well kiss my ass, my doctor’s, counselors and everyone else thinks it was actually as bad as it was.
Maybe it wasn’t so bad for you cuz you weren’t home to see it, maybe it wasn’t so bad for you cuz even when you lost us you still had all the things you wanted; drugs, men and anything else.
I didn’t have it as bad as I thought I did, well mom, when I do the math I lived more of my childhood without you than with you. So how f****** bad was it mom?
You don’t get to tell me, it wasn’t as bad as I thought it was.
Cuz it was WORSE than I ever thought and becoming an adult has made me realize that none of the things I was put through as a child were okay. Me or my little siblings.
And it’s still as bad as it was, I just get to choose how much you do to me now.
Do not ever belittle the trauma you brought on to me, that trauma has made me the person I am today, and you can deny it until you die if you want to, but even to this day you’re still choosing the men and drugs over your grandchildren.