By: Gerri Graves
Word on the Street Issue 47, September 2024
. . .
Second Harvest. Autumnal equinox…..days of equal light and dark. Festivities include feasting with family and friends, gratitude for what the earth has gifted and honoring Demeter and Persephone- the balance between light and dark. Symbology includes apples, gourds, grapes and wine. Mabon is considered the original Thanksgiving and much of our modern day Thanksgiving traditions stem from this Sabbat.
I chatted with him, while I finished up dinner. I promised him a meal and he was getting homemade enchiladas and southern peach cobbler, straight from my grandma’s recipe box.
He also hailed from Arkansas, like my grammy, and I thought the peach cobbler would be a taste of home.
I got the feeling he was nervous, as his eyes were everywhere and his hands fidgeted with whatever was handy. I noticed a slight tremor in his limbs and he struggled with memory loss….which makes his story a hard one to put into words.
Perhaps that was where the nervous energy was coming from….. the struggle of remembering.
He was born in Dallas, but was raised in Arkansas. His family was middle class with his step dad running a trucking company. Mom worked but was active in her children’s lives. She was even a scout leader.
He had plenty of land to play on in his youth, and he took advantage of it. He four wheeled, fished, hiked and boy scouted his way through adolescence.
He worked as a chef through most of his adult life and stayed active in ice hockey as well as his numerous outdoor hobbies.
Around 2008, he was diagnosed with MS. PPMS, to be specific.
PPMS (Primary Progressive Multiple Sclerosis) is a type of MS that causes your symptoms to gradually get worse rather than having a relapse of symptoms. MS affects the central nervous system and is rapidly progressive. It can reach a point of severe disability within 2 years. PPMS is rapidly progressive and can reach a point of severe disability within 2 years.
Although not a fatal disease, it does shorten your lifespan.
It’s symptoms include:
A decline in neurological function over time, without remissions.
Headaches, back pain, leg and foot pain, and muscle spasms. Electric shock sensations. Walking problems. Vision problems. Muscle weakness. Numbness and tingling. Memory loss, brain fog and inability to process information. Depression. Sexual issues. Bladder and bowel control. Paralysis.
Although it was a huge blow for him, he took it in stride. He continued living his life until he could no longer ignore the breakdown of his body.
He can no longer work, confined to an electric wheelchair and has been denied disability 9 times so far. He has no income to speak of.
He suffers severe depression. Not only from his disease, but loss- after marrying for a brief 9 months, his wife took her life.
He called her his ‘one and only’…..and has no intention of marrying again. He added that he had found his girl, and no one could ever take her place, much less compare.
I have to admit, that choked me up. See…..he had married in 2014, well after his diagnosis. His wife knew full well what she was getting into, but married him anyway.
An actual love story. Through thick and thin….in sickness and health.
After her death, he slipped in and out of bouts of homelessness, until a few years ago……when he became permanently homeless.
He started at another shelter, until he was forced out…. and then found Interfaith and began attending Nicki’s group ‘Project Well Being’.
He smiled when he spoke of Nicki. He said he felt she was highly empathetic. That he felt involved and part of a community again. Felt trust again.
He described these meetings as beneficial to his mental stability. That he didn’t do so well, when he didn’t have easy access to the program any longer……after he found housing.
Its a common assumption, among the general public, that housing equals a happy ending. Everyone wants to hear your happy ‘I found housing’ story.
However, its not truly a happy ending…… it’s a different set of rules and hoops you are required to jump through.
Granted, it is ahhh-mazing to have little luxuries again, that we normally take for granted. Being able to cook my own food. Privacy. Independence. I’m not discounting the obvious pluses. Truly.
The part I’d like to point out….especially for those without an income, is that the electricity isn’t free. It isn’t even discounted …..even to those with disabilities.
It’s part of our ‘rental’ agreement. If we can’t pay the electric bill, we will be asked to leave. My personal bill is around 100 dollars every month….. and that’s for only 300 (approx) square feet. A room smaller than a hotel room.
He also ran into this same problem. He was actually packing up to leave, when I interviewed him……because he couldn’t afford his electric bill, which was over $100.
Shrugging his shoulders, as he relayed this to me….he quickly followed with an offer of any freezer food he couldn’t take with him back to the shelter.
He seemed resigned to yet another terrible blow in a life that was riddled with them.
I watched him go, as I wished there was something I could do to help him. He is such a kind man. He didn’t deserve any of this.
And……this is where I would have ended the story, but for a wee amendment- I’m giving you a small, happy ending. Unheard of, if I’m authoring a story. (I’m such a gloomy gus. lol) But here, listen to this …..
I ran into him a couple of days later, and he was all smiles. I enquired as to his happy disposition. He informed me that he had called the electric company to beg for any assistance. Did they have programs? Was there someone he could call? Something he could apply to?
The answers were all to the negative until the gentleman asked him why he ‘needed assistance? Your bill is paid. You’re good to go.’
Dumbfounded, he asked ‘why’ was he good to go?
The gentleman replied that someone (no one knows who) paid $300 on his account…..and he had credit going forward.
Myself, and one other person were the only people who knew about his situation and neither of us could afford to do this.
So……if you’re out there reading this, thank you! You’re what’s right with the world. He was humbled by your generosity….and grateful beyond words.
Thank you.